i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
