Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
