yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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