I'm lost and stupid without you.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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