i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
