Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
