where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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