My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
