This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
