Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
