what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
