I'm lost and stupid without you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
