Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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