Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
