I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
