let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
