I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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