i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I would fuck him just for his dog
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
