erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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