sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
