please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
