Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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