"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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