i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
