Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
