i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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