just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
