I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
