This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
