Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
