Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
