Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
