one might say we're banned from that church
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
