im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
