You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You ruined the universe
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
