I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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