Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
