okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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