In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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