My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
