What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
