What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
