he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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