: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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