You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
