My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
