I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
