Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
