Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
