What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
