My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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